Inducing Lactation: Day 8, plus quick update

Today is the first day of increasing my dosage of domperidone.  It doubles today, and so far everything has gone pretty well I suppose.  This past week I had minor headaches at night, in particular.  I'm not entirely sure that it's due to the domperidone, though I suspect it is.  I'm hoping it's just due to seasonal allergies.  If it is the domperidone, then I suspect it's b/c I'm not drinking enough water.  So as I head into this second week of meds, I'm definitely going to increase my water consumption.  I'm trying to limit my caffeine intake as well.  One and a half cups of coffee a day.  I should probably have even less than that, but talk about causing a headache without it!!  OMG.  The headaches have started around 10pm and last through the night.  I usually wake up during the night and drink some water by my bed, and fall back asleep.  Then once I wake up (in the morning), have some coffee and more water the headache goes away.  The rest of the day, I'm fine.  Has anyone else inducing lactation had this problem?  Especially frustrating since I'm only a WEEK into the medications.   :-\

In terms of any visible breast change, there hasn't been a ton in just a week.  Although I've  noticed they've gotten a bit larger, they mostly feel different.  Fuller. Bouncier.  My husband is definitely liking the change!!  Haha!  (We'll see how things progress as I get further into this process.)

Not much else to tell really.  We're playing the famous surrogacy "Waiting Game" over here.  I feel like everything I do these days involves waiting.  B says the baby is growing well and doing fine.  Nothing major to report.  We touch base about once a week.  (Again with the waiting. These are the moments when I wish she and I were closer, both physically and personally.  But at the end of the day, we both have our reservations about getting too close I think.  So in the meantime, I just wait and try to fill up my time reading blogs and focus on getting my meds correct.)  Waiting is one of the hardest parts of this process, especially for an impatient Taurus like myself.

Oh, and for anyone else going through the surrogacy journey, have you recently tallied up how much $$ you've spent on the process so far?  Did it make your stomach jump up in your throat!?

Ohmigod!

Although I know we've spent less than many b/c our first attempt was successful (which I'm eternally grateful for), I will say that wow...all those meds, fees, lawyers, ivf, gifts, flights, bed rest, cards, hotels, etc add up quickly!  We're now almost at the $$ amount where I hoped we'd be at the END....and we still have 5 months to go!  Thankfully a lot of it is advance money paid out in escrow, but still.  Once again, I have to salute everyone going through this process b/c it's draining both mentally...and financially.

But even with the humdrum waiting and gasp-inducing financial revelations, I haven't lost sight (or excitement for) the end result!!  I'm so excited about meeting our little bean for the first time, that I can't stand it.  At the end of this road, all the hard stuff will be worth it!  Even our one little fur kid that is a complete terror must be getting excited because on this morning's walk, he didn't freak out at all when a little girl on a scooter rode by him with about 6" to spare.  That is a miracle indeed!

12 weeks and a quick update!

OMG.  We're 12 weeks pregnant today!  It doesn't seem real.  That's definitely the hardest part of this surrogacy process.  The "feeling real" part.  Life here in NYC is carrying on as normal while our baby is busy growing to be the size of a peach over in MS.

My mom came to visit this past weekend, and that really helped me to start feeling the baby vibes.  She gave me space planing advice on how to rearrange the furniture to include a nursery.  I've been doing lots of research on "small space nurseries" and it's laughable the photos and advice that comes up.  It's clear that the rest of America doesn't truly understand small spaces in the same way as New Yorkers.  I was about to sacrifice our "living room" area to become the nursery, but she convinced me that our very large walk-in closet (with a window) was a better option and would allow us to keep the living room for another two years.  Of course, mom is right!  So we're going to be re-configuring the clothing situation and turning half that space into the baby's room.  But we've actually decided to hold off on that for the first few months and have the baby's crib right in our room.  We've been thinking about the DaVinci Mini Rocking Crib as the crib for us.  It's got lots of great reviews from other small-space parents, and is one of the better looking mini-cribs out there.  (Let me interject by saying there are SO few options on mini-cribs.  I'm surprised.  It made me want to go into nursery furniture design to come up with some cuter options!!)

Anyways....that's where we've been.  Also been thinking about names a lot to help pass the time.  I've been having fun looking at all the names being searched on nameberry.com.  We've got a ton of names picked out, but we can't really pick out just one that we like the best.  There are a ton that make us laugh though.  Who names their child "Wolf"?

Well, I'd best finish getting ready for work.  Have a great day!

And let the waiting begin...

Waiting is the hardest part of this whole process.  Now that we’ve had our first transfer, all I can do is sit here and [im]patiently wait for time to pass.

First it was for our surro to feel better.  (She got a stomach bug almost immediately after our transfer and felt terrible.)  Thankfully it lasted only 24 hours, and she feels better now.  Our RE said that it shouldn't affect the embryo transfer.  We're hoping that's the case!!

Then it was for her to get back to the airport and be safely on her journey home.  

And now it’s for enough time to pass for her to be able to take her first home pregnancy test.  *Fingers crossed for a positive!*

Oh god, the waiting portion of this whole process is excruciating.  Especially this first bit…although I’m sure all of it will be tough.  Not much to do but sit and be anxious.  I try not to be, but it’s definitely hard, especially after having read so many other people’s stories.  I know all the things that could happen. 

***********

And as an update on our embryos for anyone else going through this type of thing and want to know...today I spoke to my RE and he informed me that we have a total of 23 embryos from our original 33 that made it to freezing stage…or “cryopreservation.”  (Saying that sounds so sci-fiction.)  Of course, we’re hoping that we won’t need to use any of those 23 until a potential later date for a sibling.  (Assuming we could ever afford to do this again.)   *Praying that we’re lucky on the first try!*

A few resources for Intended Moms looking for extra reading material

As an intended mom, I've found that I have become a voracious online reader of anything to do with surrogacy, especially stories of other people's journeys.  There are definitely some great blogs out there, but I also wanted to point out something a bit more traditional - the book "Surrogacy was the Way."

I recently read Zara Griswold's compilation of twenty mothers' stories, and it really helped give a total overview of lots of different experiences from start to finish...especially as it related to the feelings of lack of control, the endless waiting, the reasons why we're infertile in the first place, and of course the complicated feelings around the relationship with our surrogate mothers...

I'm very thankful to have a great relationship with my surrogate mother, but we are also at the beginning stages of this journey and I wanted to get a sense of all the different experiences that other women had gone through....all the way to the end.  How did their relationship change (if at all) once the baby was born?  How did they deal with the stress of simply waiting and not being in control of anything?  What were their frustrations along the way.  The book is written very candidly, and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to do surrogacy or in the beginning to middle stages of your journey.  I even made my husband read it.  Ha!!

The one thing I didn't find in this book was my particular reason for infertility, but she does have a variety of issues in general...so I think most people will find someone to identify with on a very personal level.

Besides this book, I've found a couple of other favorites that I think are worth pointing out:

1. Intended Mom Gingerelle's series of Youtube videos giving her account of her twins' transfer and birth.  I found these to be particularly great, and she's very entertaining to boot.  Her surrogate mother also has a great corresponding set of videos too.  Overall, these two might win the world's cutest surro/IM award!!
2. Bernadette's Journey at her blog Rasta Less Traveled.  I constantly look forward to her updates, and even though she's still in the middle of her journey, it's been great to follow along.  

There are certainly lots of other blogs out there (and you can find them over there...to the right!), but these are my two favorites.  (No disrespect to anyone else out there!!)  Plus most of the other experiences I'm finding on blogs are taking place with SCI in India.  (It seems like everyone on the Internet is going to India these days!)  Since we ended up going with an agency here in the states, I'm constantly on the prowl for more Intended Mom blogs based here....so if anyone knows of any, please let me know in the comments!   My blog reader isn't getting updated frequently enough with posts from other Intended Moms!  (All I do all the time is hit refresh on my blog reader and on my email inbox!!!!  You other intended moms will know what I mean!  And to think that we haven't even gotten to our first transfer yet!!)