Breaking news...on the nursery

So after completely moving almost every piece of furniture in our apartment other than our bed, we've decided that we are NOT putting the baby in the closet.  Even though we technically can fit the crib in there (and a changing table), it would mean splitting my clothes into three (almost four) locations.  Getting dressed this morning almost threw me over the edge.  I realized that our baby girl (who today we're referring to as Gwenna), would not like her mom to be a mess.  So we've decided to convert the living room into the nursery.  (Mind you, not today since it's going to take more than just rearranging the furniture.)

Anyways...this means that baby will have a room and closet of her own.  I'll have my clothes in one spot (and a modicum of sanity).  And all it took was rearranging all the furniture we own to figure this out.

I'll get to actually decorate a real nursery after all.  In the end, I'm not even sad about losing the living room since we just figured out we can compress our dining area and put the loveseat in there.  Sweet!!

Starting to feel those 679 square feet...

Today the hubby and I decided to get up early (8:30am, ha!) and start working on the closet/nursery.  So after a leisurely breakfast and some morning Olympics, we got going around 10am.  The goal was to put some high capacity Elfa shelving into the space that would theoretically give us room for both clothes & baby.

After a little demolition and a bit of painting, we hit the Container Store and spent $200 on Elfa bits and pieces.  We came home and installed it....after some cursing about buying the wrong wall-mounting screws (of course)!  But I'm not so sure we really gained as much as we thought we were going to.  And the new location for the clothes is pretty tight to access.   So what do I do?

Start to panic of course.

Why did we think it was a good idea to have a baby in NYC?!  Why don't we live in Wisconsin or even Philadelphia still?  Heck, we had a four bedroom house there!!  Here we have a teeny apartment with no yard for our dogs to run around in.  No imaginary chickens to get fresh eggs from in the morning!

I'm feeling slightly better after sitting down and putting my feet up to type this.  But an hour ago I wanted to jump out the window.  The reason for this is because our apartment is starting to look like a hoarder's.  Breast pump equipment sitting around.  Baby bathtub.  Baby clothes with nowhere to put them.  You name it, and it's probably sitting around my apartment right this moment.  I love to have things in their place.  We just happen to have a good amount of things. (You recall that i just mentioned we downsized from a 4 bedroom, right?  Well...yeah, a lot of that is in our apartment.)

Anyways, realizing we need to continue to purge.  And the hubby is trying to keep me sane. Thank god I'm married to such a kind, understanding man.  :-)

Awkward

Feeling awkward is one of the big things that go along with being an intended mom (at least for me).  Maybe other intended moms are made of steel, but I definitely feel awkward and uncomfortable in certain situations.  Here are some of the ones that have caused me to feel weird recently.

• Having my recently hired twenty-something temp assistant say to me, "You don't look pregnant at all.  How far along are you?"  Me: "Oh....that's because I'm not pregnant.  I'm having a baby via surrogate."  Her:  "Oh, wow!  How long does she have to keep the baby after it's born?  Y'know for breastfeeding and stuff."  *sigh*  I just didn't really feel like explaining it all at that moment.  I wanted her to do her work.  
• Yesterday N and I went to a family daycare to look into the possibility of putting her in daycare next June.  (Yes, I said next June.  And yes, I'm having to look now so that we can get on a....waiting list.)  There was another couple there, and she was obviously pregnant. I was obviously not and wearing a close-fitting maxi skirt to prove it.  She kind of gave me a strange look...or maybe I imagined it.  Either way, I ended up blurting out that we were due in Dec via surrogate.  #awesome
• Then last evening, we went out to a guy acquaintance's birthday party, and kept getting hugs and "OMG Congratulations!"  Thankfully I'd changed into a baggy dress (partially so that I could avoid just those types of explanations that I knew would be needed with people I'm not super-close with in a public setting).  Either way, I felt AWKWARD. 

This is the type of thing that happens a lot.  I know it shouldn't bother me, but I just have a hard time going into it all the time.  My mom (and MIL) have had an even harder time, so I've told them just to defer them to me.  Maybe I should create little business cards to hand out.  It would be so much easier.  :-)

21 week update

My wonderful aunt text messaged me this evening with "No blog post!?!  Are you okay?"  So I thought I'd post just to let everyone know what's going on with us these days.

• We're super excited about having a girl!!  To make it feel more real, cute gifts have already started rolling in...including the crib, some adorable baby clothes from my sister, and some crib bedding.   
• Realizing that I'd better start registering to figure out the rest of what we'd need, I've been spending my nights working on our registry by comparing reviews on bottles, pack-n-plays, and looking at cute baby clothes.  We're registered at amazon b/c they have it all! (And yes, I am the type of person who compares reviews on baby bottles.)
• I signed up for zulily.com based on a recommendation from a friend...and I've already made TWO purchases in one week.  It turns out girls clothes are ADORABLE and getting deals so cheap made me HAVE to purchase them.  As soon as they come in, I'll post pics.  I love a good flash sale site...so that plus baby stuff is lethal.  Need to stop looking at zulily asap.  :-)
• N and I have been thinking about baby names A LOT!  It's the first question people have asked when we tell them that we're having a girl.  And yes, we have a number of names on the list.  We just can't seem to decide which one.
• Fiona - one of my favorite names since I was a kid.  I fell in love because of an actress from Days of Our Lives.  What can I say?  Do I care that there's a green princess from Shrek with the same name?  Slightly...but not much.  
• Gwendolyn "Gwenna" - always liked the long version, and I like the short version as something similar to Emma.
• Kenzie - my mother's maiden name is McKenzie, and therefore have always loved it as a name for a girl.  However it's my cousin's first name too.  Feeling like it might be too close.  Still love the familial connection.
• Rowan - I love boys names for girls, and this is one of them.  Plus I love the Irish connection which both N and I have.  
• Aria - N really loves this name, and I like it too...but am a bit concerned b/c it's a character on our favorite show "Game of Thrones."  Could become very popular b/c of that.  
• June - It's the month we started dating...and the month we got married.  I love it because it's simple and classic.  (Also like the Italian version Junia.)
• Magnolia - I love this name because it's unusual but familiar.  It invokes memories of the South which is where I grew up...and where our daughter is being born.  It's the state tree of Mississippi, and the flowers smell great.  
• Genevieve - Maybe I watched too much "Trading Spaces," but either way...I love this name. 
• Lucinda - Lucinda Williams is a wonderful singer that we both love.  I also love the short version Lucy.   (Be glad we didn't go for Emmylou b/c we adore Emmylou Harris as well.)
• We've been figuring out some projects in the apartment that we need to do before the baby comes...such as making more room in the closet (which is to soon become her domain.) 
• I've been still taking my pills to induce lactation...but just this week switched from Provera to Prometrium.  Tonya convinced me that I should switch since I wasn't feeling much palpable results from the Provera.  Here's hoping it gets better soon.  And in another 28 days I'll be pumping.  Definitely hoping for something!!  

Also, I'd love to give a big hug to all the people out there that have been supporting me through this.  This blog has been amazing to connect with family and friends (both new and old).  I'm so glad that you are all here and understand.  *HUGS*

p.s. The baby and B are both doing fine.  :-)

Nursery Ideas

I started putting together an idea board for the little Baby Squirrel's nursery.  I'm loving it so far.  The decorating idea is based around travel.  I love to travel, and I hope our little girl will get to travel with us one day and become a little mini explorer.  Plus I love bright fun colors. (No pink & ruffles in this nursery.)  I just started, but this is sort of what's been brewing in my mind for some time...

Hopefully we'll be able to find a vintage dresser.  We can't spend $1000 on the Oeuf one above.  Also, if you haven't stopped over at minted.com for baby nursery prints, then you totally should.   I'm loving their stuff right now, and three of the above prints are from there.  The one big world map print is one that we already own and bought for the baby's room months ago.  (We also have a vintage Fisher Price toy globe that is a nightlight.  And an old model sailing ship that might not make it into the room b/c there isn't room.  But hopefully it can!)  

(Oh, and p.s. excuse my very poor photoshop skills above.  I need a class pronto on how to use that program!)

20wk1d: At long last, we're having a _________ !

This past weekend we flew down to the Memphis/Tupelo area with the primary purpose of finding out the sex of the baby!  Of course seeing (and patting) B's bump in person was great too!!  We hung out with B and her family for a few days, and then yesterday went in for our scheduled visit.  I was nervous about how the doctor's office would treat us, but they were very nice.  Our ultrasound was great...mainly because we got to see the baby moving around on screen.  It was our first time seeing hands moving, mouth opening, legs kicking, etc.  Our little bean is a squirmy worm so far.  And the baby definitely did not want to show us the goods.  Those legs were very tightly closed the whole time.  For a long moment I was worried we'd flown all the way down there and would leave without finding out if it's a boy or a girl.  

Such a mixed feeling of frustration and anxiety.

Well, after what seemed like forever...the technician simply typed one word on the screen with an arrow pointing to an indefinable (to us) spot on the screen.  That word was....

[girl] --->

So yes, it seems that soon the dogs will have a little baby sister in the house!!  Or as my husband said to someone, "GURL!!!!  It's a GIRRRRRRL!"  Hahaha!

We're SOOOOO excited!!  We haven't chosen a name yet, but we do have a laundry list of names in the running though.  OMG.  There are so many!! 

And now, we can officially start looking for stuff to register for and decorating "the nursery."   (Remember our nursery is going to be in a large closet.  This is NYC after all.)

Anyways....wheeeeeeee!!  So happy I don't know what to do with myself.  :-)

 

Cravings

B reports that she's craving cornbread, beans, watermelon, and chicken & dumplings a bunch recently, and she can't seem to get enough of them.  It appears that our baby takes after me and loves good southern food as well.  Hopefully N will be able to convince our baby to someday eat kale like he's done me.  Haha.

I just had to post b/c hearing her cravings made me smile so much.  I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful surrogate carrying our baby.

Inducing lactation, week 3 update

So I still haven't started pumping.  I am holding off for longer.  No good reason I suppose, other than the fact that my breasts just don't feel ready yet.  Others have reported a feeling of engorgment - like they needed to pump.  Mine have not gotten that feeling yet.  So I'm going to give it at least another week.  Maybe even two.

I have noticed some general side effects of the provera + domperidone combination.  They are:  general tiredness and lack of energy, slightly more scatterbrained than usual, major dehydrated mouth/body if I'm not drinking tons of water (and don't even think of drinking alcohol while taking the dom b/c you'll be double dehydrated).  I don't know how much of the tiredness and scatterbrained-ness is due to my lack of HRT.  My body is used to having estrogen each day, and now with zero estrogen, I can tell you that life isn't pleasant - the particulars I will leave out.  Therefore I upped an estrogen supplement that I used to take 3 times per week to almost daily.  It's not my full regimen, but it's helping somewhat.  So far this inducing lactation thing has not been for the faint of heart.  I'm probably also holding off on starting to use the breast pump b/c it's just one more thing.

At any rate, I'm powering through.  It will all be worth it in the end.  Please pray that my body starts responding more robustly to the meds.  It would be great to really be able to get some milk after all this craziness.  :-)

Oh, and we're 18 weeks and 1 day!  Woot woot!!  It's going fast.  Well, sort of.  I can't believe that it will be less than 2 weeks for our big ultrasound when we're going to be down South with B.  I'm so excited for some bbq and sweet tea!

5th birthday celebration

At one point in my life I thought my dogs might be the only kids in my life.  It's hard to believe that this time next year we'll have a human baby around these parts.  But for today, I celebrate my youngest fur kid's 5th birthday.  Rolling around on the bed with this little monster and a disgusting dog toy is one of my favorite things to do on a Sunday morning.  I can't believe we've had the pleasure for 5 whole years already.  (Now we just have to hope he doesn't get jealous with the baby around!  But that's another post for another day.)

In another month, we'll be celebrating 15 years with our oldest.  Can't even believe that's looming on the horizon too!